Reflections on My Adolescence

My adolescence simultaneously feels like the best and worst years of my life. Adolescence was really

where I both started to make real friends, and at the same time I was developing the passions

and interests that would come to shape the goals that I continue to try for until now. Ultimately,

the two things that really shaped my adolescence are the desire to do more, and the desire to make long lasting

connections that'll last me my whole life. This perfectly aligns with the conflict of identity

vs. role confusion, which really was the defining conflict for me at the time.

I am Competent

Focusing on my interests, there were three interests which really shaped my adolescence. The first one

was present even in my childhood, which was my love of science. I've always found it interesting how everything

from why your pen makes permanent marks on your paper, to why cooking your food kills all the microbes in it

has a scientific explanation on the level of atoms of cells. These tiny, miniscule things are perfectly designed

to make all things, including life possible. Why and how did things originate? These questions would really be a defining

part of my adolescence. This was amplified when I was scouted for the Philippine Biology Olympiad. In the past,

I was still quite interested in science, but I never really tried to learn it rigorously. At most times, I would

just settle for a lackluster explanation without truly learning the systems behind it. But this surface level understanding

would just not suffice for PBO questions. These really challenged me to change and really yearn for excellence.

Aside from just struggling from this rigor of the training this resulted, I also struggled with feelings of incompetence.

I would often compare myself to my other teammates. I would question why I would get much lower scores than them. Even

my coach would be a source of this. Even though he never said it out loud, I could really tell that he really didn't expect

me and some of my teammates to make it far in this competition. This feeling was amplified when I unfortunately wasn't able

able to make it to the semi-finals. Even though a lot of my teammates made it, it really felt like I didn't even have a chance

in the first place. Also I'm not really a very vocal person when it comes to my emotions so it was hard for me to move on.

But thankfully, one of my seniors reached out to me to give support. They also didn't get in and they really were a big help

in that time. Their support taught me the value of mentorship and community. In the end, this Grade 10 experience didn't just

fuel my passion for science; it taught me how to handle failure and turn it into intellectual grit.

Other than for science, I also have two other interests which, although less prominent, also helped me learn a very important

lesson as a teenager. All throughout grade 9 until now, I've maintained my interests in the fields of programming and dancing.

Although I've had other interests before, these two hobbies are really the only ones that sticked. But there were many instances

where it was really hard to find time for these hobbies. Maintaining these hobbies forced me to confront an important question in my life:

"How do I balance the things I enjoy with the things that secure my future?"

These hobbies not only served as my enjoyment outside the stress of academics, they also trained me to learn important life skills.

Programming taught me logical thinking, meanwhile dancing helped me maintain my physical health.

These hobbies taught me the important skills of time management and prioritization in hectic times of

I'm often told by people in my life to surround myself with people who inspire me. Ideally, I would like to do this, however this

is usually easier said than done. In grade 9, I realized the friend group I hung out with the whole year was just becoming more

emotionally draining to me as the year went on. Thus, I made the difficult decision to sever my ties with them. It started with

baby steps such as distancing myself from them during class, and then not eating lunch with them. Choosing to distance myself from

them was a really difficult decision for me, but it paved the way for me to find the friend group which I feel really enriches my

psychosocial development and makes me feel at home and supported.

Reflecting on my experience of adolescence, I realized I still have a long way to go to becoming an emotionally mature person.

Although I have developed the grit and diligence required for me to survive in this fast changing world, I feel I am still far

from actually thriving. Developing emotional maturity, acknowledging that people will accept me for who I am no matter what and

cultivating the wisdom to deal with hardship calmly are the next steps for me to bridging the gap between the person I want to be,

and the person I am today.